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Friday, June 18, 2010

Milan


Let me start this by stating that this is an accidental review. I had no intentions of reviewing Milan until my experience there was just too hilarious not to share with the interwebs.

I'd been following the blog of the Groupawn since he started his gig a few weeks ago in hopes that he'd find his way to Baltimore. Knowing the awesomeness that is Groupon, I felt it would be just as awesome to meet someone who was literally living off of them every day for the next year. Also, he loves food, and we love food, so really how can we NOT hang out? Yeah.

So, the Groupawn had a groupon for Milan and was heading there with another couple and after a day long texting session, I decided to join them and have a dessert. The four of us were seated at the bar and the three of them had already been there for about 45 minutes by the time I arrived and were just finalizing their orders. Josh grabbed a chair for me and I sat down just in time to be completely ignored by the bartender. Seriously, he took their orders, skipped over me and then wandered away. So I waited for my next opportunity to grab a menu and a Coke, and when it finally presented itself (about 10 minutes later) my wishes were fulfilled. Sorta.

See, I got my tiny Coke but it took the guy probably another 10 minutes to find a dessert menu and then it took about another 10 minutes for me to be able to order from said menu. I got the Torte di Fromaggio which was...well, it was unbelievably delicious. A hearty slice of honey ricotta cheese cake infused with a light lemony flavor decorated with fresh cream and a sprig of mint and balsamic strawberry compote. I shared bites with the group so that they too could enjoy the cool creaminess of this cheesecake.

Josh, the Groupawn was kind enough to share a piece of his crabcake with me and I must say that it's one of the better ones I've had. It was well seasoned, presented beautifully and actually had big pieces of crabmeat in it unlike some you get where it's just like a ball of breaded nothing. The tangy orangey sauce that came with it was a very nice complement.

The four of us had such a good time talking and sharing stories that I didn't really notice that it had taken a little over an hour for an incorrect order of raw, rose shaped fish to be delivered to the other three.

I'm sure Josh will write more about the experience in his blog, since the things that happened to him and the couple were just downright hilarious they were so terrible. As we were trying to cash out and go, it seemed there was some confusion about the groupon use, whose bill was whose and then some general douchebaggery from several members of staff. I'd heard that this place was over-priced with an air of snobbery but that the food was delicious if not pretentious and I have to say it's all pretty much correct. The restaurant is gorgeous, elegantly designed and looks somewhat like you're dining in a private mansion. The food is always presented as if it's art, yet it all tasted wonderful. I'm pretty sure that several members of the waitstaff got their start working for Abercrombie and Fitch because they seemed to be pros at ignoring you and looking perfect.

Now, I will not say you should not go to this restaurant because it definitely was a unique experience. However, I will leave you with this thought: it is an Italian restaurant that serves sushi and turns into a nightclub after 10 and their motto is "Where Food Meets Fashion", but they are located about three blocks from the projects in Baltimore.

Milan, I will give you 5 noms because your food was delicious, but -3 noms because your staff is...pretentious. Grand total of 2 noms.

Milan on Urbanspoon

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow that was an experience huh ?
But i was there a couple of time and the service was phenomena, food was great and about the coke i had about lets say 10 glasses..haha

Thanks for sharing this with us. !

periwinkle604 said...

Yeah, the food tasted good, it was just everything else kind of killed it. I do hope that people have a better experience there, glad to hear yours was good.

Anonymous said...

WENT LAST NITE....OMG; DON'T THINK THIS WILL BE ON MY "RETURN LIST" ANY TIME SOON. DRESS CODE? T-SHIRTS AND JEANS ON GUYS W/ GIRLS IN SKIMPY SLUT-LIKE BLACK DRESSES AND WAITRESSES IN SAME AND FLIP FLOPS? GET REAL. STOOD OUT LIKE PROVERBIAL SORE THUMB IN A SEXY CREAM!!! COCKTAIL DRESS AND HI HEELS W/ HANDSOME HUBBY IN A JACKET AND TIE!!! HOW ABOUT A VALET THAT A) DOESN'T EVEN THINK TO OPEN DOOR AND B) IGNORES YOU WHEN YOU TRY TO GET YOUR CAR BACK. AND HAVE YOU EVER HAD JALEPENOS IN YOUR CHICKEN PARMESAN?? ME EITHER. AT 10pm AS WE LEFT, ALL ENTERING WERE BEING CARDED AND I THOUGHT I WAS BACK AT TEEN CENTER. NOT UPSCALE, NOT COSMOPOLITAN, NOT COOL AND NOT TOGETHER.

Anonymous said...

absolutely the worst service I have ever experience. The food is good, not exceptional. The staff is also exceptional, exceptionally incompetent.

Anonymous said...

Ate there last night with another couple. We had a wine pairing 5 course meal. Long story short, food was great, service was polite but very unprofessional. It took 30 minutes before anyone deemed to speak to us, another 15 to get water. The wines never arrived with the food. The atmosphere more of a hip-hop night club than upscale restaurant. So loud at times I could not hear the person next to me. It took 3 hours to get in and out. Will not go back.

adayinthelifeofamiddleagewoman said...

Ha!
Well....Groupon JUST put out a deal for a $180.00 prix fixe dinner for two, for $39.00. I thought "Hmmmm..hubby's been in Baltimore for 5 years and I've never taken him to an Italian restaurant. Maybe this is our chance".
Great food, imo, is not worth the style of restaurant you've described. I laughed my butt off. :D
I'd rather spend the $40.00 (let alone $180) at The Helmund or somewhere like that. ;)

Anonymous said...

I went with Groupon in hand and expectations of being amused based on the reviews I read. I was not disappointed!

The restaurant must be struggling some because much of it is falling apart already. The couches in the lounge are worn and the cheap coffee tables are delaminating. The chairs in the dining room (some of them, anyway) are broken. Literally!

The food was better than I expected. Salad: boring. Tasted like mixed field greens from Giant with Craisins on top. Calamari: Not bad, I enjoyed it. Steak: Ridiculous amount of brown sauce on top, but it tasted pretty good. The mashed potatoes were somewhat cold. Cake: Chocolate - I liked it.

Service? They ignored us in the lobby for 25 minutes while we waited for our table. The staff was well meaning but not very professional. Denny's level of service. Do you want to be offered cracked pepper or given a new fork between courses? Go somewhere else!

Decor? See above. Some of the stuff is falling apart at the seams, but I enjoyed the pretentious modern chic anyway. Amused by the use of a plastic bottle of CVS handsoap in the bathroom.

It was worth the $39 that Groupon cost, but not much more than that. I could have had a better meal for the money, I'm sure, but not nearly as amusing.

I won't go back and couldn't really recommend it. It's like fine-dining for people who don't really know what fine-dining is.

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